We Actually Never Run Out of Things To Talk About

Just behind the Food Mart in Gardiner, MT, the Roosevelt Arch guards the north entrance to Yellowstone National Park. Constructed in 1903 as the thorough-fare for horse-drawn carriages full of tourists, the arch proclaims the park is “For the Enjoyment of the People.” It’s the last thing you see before it swallows you hole.

Once inside, you meander through craggy rocks and dense conifer forests until you hit an entire village on top of a mountain–post office, general store, gas station. Tourists run to and fro, their wind breakers and camera clashing with the forest. I imagine that if we were to settle the moon, it would look equally out of place.

Past the village, the park heaves and swells with unseen activity. Rivers and streams run low through the park, and flushed rocks hiss with steam. Entire forests lay grounded, the result of a pine beetle problem that has choked the park, yet you know that elk, bison and bear, even the stray vagabond, roam hidden throughout the remaining trees. You can’t help but feel like an intruder.

The drive through Yellowstone was an altogether humbling experience, topped off by the fact that the park sits on top of a super volcano. The thing is past due, and when it erupts, it will probably destroy the Earth. Seriously. In the History Channel’s Top 7 ways the Word will end, it’s number 4. It will destroy the immediate surrounding area (meaning North America), and the ash it emits into the atmosphere will slowly destroy the rest of the earth. When contemplating where we’d like to be when the volcano popped, Kelsea said she’d like to be in Yellowstone. “I’d like to be able to say I was there when.”

One thunderstorm later, we tumbled out of the car and onto Flagg Ranch Resort. Do not be fooled. We camped in the back yard.

Immediately upon exiting the car, a horde of mosquitos attacked every free inch of my body. I’d rather have been greeted by a bear. We spent the majority of our time at the site spraying bug spray on our clothes and into the air, like perfume, and ended up in the tent at 7 pm, watching something I’d much rather be bitten by: Twilight. 

But before retreating to shelter, we made dinner and discussed the nutritional benefits of Nutella. We’re getting quite creative with our cooking, and after a tasty taco salad (which I wouldn’t have even made for myself in my real apartment), we combined marshmallows, Nutella and Oreos into every possible permutation. If you think it’s limited you’re wrong. The best was an Oreo smore– a disassembled Oreo with marshmallow and Nutella in the middle–and will leave the rest of our tasty combinations to your imagination. 

Tomorrow, we’ll kick off the 4th with a hike up the Grand Teton. Just kidding. But be will be somewhere in its vicinity. Tune in to see whether or not we find fireworks and blow our faces off!